Chrissy Teigen has opened up about the levels of fear she lives with on a daily basis through a highly candid and emotional Instagram post.

On 5/24, the model and influencer shared both photos and videos of a recent outing where she completed a log crossing. Along with photos and videos, the author of the cookbook shared a candid message about fear.

"I did this log crossing a few years ago when I last came here, when I was struggling mentally. It was incredibly difficult at the time," she wrote. "My legs felt like 1,000 pounds each, and my body was strained to the point where it felt like the car crashed after it came down," he said. I made it whole, then after about 40lonnnng minutes. And I'm not even scared of heights! It was not height. It's fighting through the pain in my arms, my neck and my legs."

Teigen explained that she assumed that "pain" would disappear "by relaxing my body, breathing and just taking in and enjoying what I was doing, so it would be "very different" to try another log crossing "today.""

" But the plot twist!! It was just as difficult," she added.

Teigen says she "shaved a little bit of time" but she was still "terrified."

"I've seen so dark times since the last time I did this, so I thought I'd be fearless in this goddamn thing. But I'm still very scared," she continued. "Then I realized that now I live my life so scared. I don't enjoy much outside of my family, my few friends, TV and crafts. I feel like a very shrunken version of myself. And I know I'm meant to be big.

Pho's mom wrote that she was "really scared" of letting fans down, adding that she was "fighting myself all day with what I wanted to say, what I wanted to explain," but I said

"I miss so many parts of myself and I think that one day I shed some fear and I'm going to do something for you guys." Receive that will never be perfect!She continued. "But for now I will continue to work on it all and try to balance my brain and rational thinking and be kind to myself and my body and mind."

Teigen faced massive criticism and backlash in early 2021 after several of Teigen's past social media posts surfaced showing models bullying others online.

Courtney Stodden, a non-binary singer, shared the Dm issue and harmful screenshots she received from Teigen. In 2021-5, she told The Daily Beast, "Some of the worst treatments I've received are from women, and if we keep holding each other down, we won't go anywhere.

Shortly after, Teigen issued a public apology to Stodden, saying in part: "Many people are not lucky enough to be held accountable for all past b******* in front of the whole world."

"I am mortified and saddened by who I was once," she said at the time. "I was an anxious, attention-grabbing troll. I am embarrassed and completely embarrassed by my actions, but it is nothing compared to the way I made Courtney feel.”